Joyeux Noel

  We have watched a lot of Christmas movies this year.  Most I have already seen and a few I wished I hadn’t, (thanks Tim Allen).  Every single one has the same theme, remember the true meaning of Christmas.  So much so that it’s become a Christmas cliché like Rudolph or Rockefeller Center.  Charlie Brown swears to us he wont let his Christmas become ruined by commercialism right before the network cuts to commercial so Old Navy can remind us to buy their clothes or how happy our wives will be with a gift from Kay Jewelers.  It's barely past Halloween and our kids are inundated with ads for toys they must have.  Even though we turned off the cable our 4 year still knows the hottest toys out there and where we can get them.  “They have it at Target dad”.  (I somewhat agree with Lucy, in her theory, that Christmas is run by a big Eastern conglomerate.)  And still, throughout the ads, the songs and the countdowns were reminded, “Don’t forget the true meaning of Christmas...”


But I don’t think I have ever been moved by a Christmas movie like i was when  i watched, Joyeux Noël.  Throughout the busyness of the season, you will benefit from turning off “Jingle all the Way” and taking some time to watch this story of warring soldiers literally act out the meaning of Christmas.  It will put some perspective on the season, especially since this story is based on real events.


On Christmas Eve, 1914 in France, warring French, German and Scottish soldiers declared an impromptu cease fire in honor of Christmas.  These men, who were trying to kill each other the day before, left their trenches and joined together to play soccer, drink together and share stories about their families with one another.  They experienced peace.  They experienced the true meaning of Christmas.  We celebrate Christmas to honor Christ’s birth and that’s often seen as the true meaning of Christmas, but beyond the birth there was a reason to why He came.  The angle declared it to the Sheppard’s, in Luke, chapter 2, saying, and “…I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all people.  Today….a savior has been born” and then in verse 14, “…and on earth peace to men…”  Christ was born so that He could die for us so we don’t have to die.
These soldiers put down their arms and celebrated that gift; the gift of peace and life.  It seems a fitting tribute to the meaning of Christmas.  If, even just briefly, the absence of violence and war can honor Christ’s gift to us, then it’s a testament that it can be done in this world.  If these men, ordered to kill one another, can forgive each other to share a few hours honoring God’s gift, than perhaps that parking spot you're sure was rightfully yours wasn’t that big of deal after all.


In the film, one of the German soldiers says that the killing will be “more meaningless now than it was yesterday”.  The word meaningless triggered the words of Ecclesiastes in my head.  And if our lives on this earth truly are meaningless; than the idea of killing each other seems an even more futile way to spend our days.


God created us to enjoy this earth but ultimately to love Him and to spend eternity with Him.  But our time is often spent meaningless.  It’s spent fighting and frustrated and desiring the physical instead of the spiritual.  Not all of us will go to war.  I have never been in the military and feel somewhat of a hypocrite as I write about war.  I never have been close to knowing what it is like.  Instead I have slept soundly within the quite blanket of suburban America.  But I have seen the cost of war.  The other night I watched my daughter jumping on her bed, laughing full of innocence and her heart filled with the excitement of Christmas.  My daughter, whose namesake was born out of the cost of war.
I feel sad as my daughter grows older that the harsh reality of this life will ultimately try to twist her “true meaning” of Christmas into a watered down version that starts at Costco in August and then fades away to Valentines Day.  I hope that her mother and I can instill in her a deeper meaning.  That the peace and innocence she carries, (unaware of the harshness of the world around her), that it will somehow spill out and soften this world in someway.


At the end of the film the soldiers involved in their unauthorized cease-fire are reprimanded by men who carry leadership roles but who were not privy to witness the miracle of peace or the brutality of the previous fighting.  It’s ironic that those who command the killing were not there to do the killing or enjoy the peace.  But maybe most disturbing was the priest who sees the war as a cleansing of evil.  He sees the enemy who deserves to die and whose death is, in the priests eyes, is justified by God, himself.  How many of us as Christians justify our actions because we are on “God’s side”?
So tonight as you slumber, with warm Christmas thoughts dancing through your head…I would encourage you to consider the idea of “Peace on earth and goodwill towards men” And perhaps, like those soldiers, break rank for just few minutes and practice peace however you can.  Those men experienced something that only they can relate too but if maybe we all try to experience what they had; the true meaning of Joyeux Noël will last a little longer than our tree.  God sent his Son to save us and that’s what we celebrate this time of year.  What better way to observe that act than with our own actions of love; peace on earth and goodwill to men.




-dave

Giving Back: How Grace Changed Me to Serve

                                        My Favorite Meal (repost from 2012)


I love thanksgiving.  Hands down it’s my favorite day of the year.  Mostly I love the idea of a feast.   Not the glutinous feast of old world kings overeating turkey legs and goblets of wine while peasants outside starve; but the idea of eating a well prepared meal with loved ones.  I have had the privilege of traveling to Haiti a few times to spend time and work in an orphanage there.  Each time we commemorated the end of the stay with a feast.  We bought the orphanage chickens, a goat, vegies, rice, beans and a cake.  Then together, Americans and Haitian feasted, (well, we served and the Haitians ate).  Watching those kids enjoy a meal they rarely get was a high point in my life.


Someone once asked me what my favorite meal was.  A meal that was better than any other I’d had.   I was sitting in The Tribeca Grill in New York with a co-worker when he asked me.  I didn’t have much of a reply back then.  I remember naming a couple of my favorite foods but I didn’t have a significant meal, a time and place that I could recall.    But looking back, if my long lost friend asked me that question today, I would have an answer.


A few years ago, recession in full swing, I found myself in a new sales job and completely broke.  I woke up one morning and I knew what I had to do.  I looked through the folder of unopened mail and bills and found my IRA statement.  I had already depleted it of almost everything and now I had $3000 left in it.  My mom had told me to not pull anymore out.  That she and my dad would loan me some money.  But I didn’t want to borrow any more money, (at least more than I already had).  So I pulled out the statement, checked to make sure the customer service phone was on there and stuffed it in my pocket.  I was 28 days past due on my car payment, a month past due on my cell phone.... and the calls were starting to come in.  I had just enough to get me through December until some deals closed in January and those commission checks came in.


That morning I dropped off my daughter about 15 minutes late to her preschool.  As I slipped back through the gate, towards the parking lot, I passed the director’s office.  Her door was open and I as I walked by I heard her exclaim, “Oh , wait…!”  I stopped and my heart stopped; I was filled with shame.  It was December 14th which meant I was now 14 days late paying my daughter’s tuition.  We were sending my daughter to a Lutheran preschool and she loved it.  Despite our money problems I didn’t want to pull her out.  I gathered myself and popped my head in to say hi, to quickly explain that I would be dropping off a check soon.  But I didn’t get a chance to talk first.  She had me come in and she said, “I have something for your family.  Do you have time to take it now?”  I was surprised and told her I did.


She smiled and said “I will be right back”.  I waited a few minutes and then she came back and asked me where I parked.  I walked out to my car and when I saw her again, she was rolling a cart filled with boxes.  The top box said “Family #7” on it in black marker.  “This one’s heavy” she said and I as picked it up and I looked inside to see it filled with food.  Stuffing, pancake mix, soup, cake mix, rice, a whole frozen chicken….I couldn’t believe it.  I gratefully put the box of food in my car.  When you’re broke, the gift of food is tremendous.  Because it’s the one thing you have to buy.  You can put off your kid's pre-school tuition, the HOA bill, the mortgage, the cell phone, the car payment…you learn to hold off collection calls and to stall the monthly bills.  But food – hunger, is not something you can put off till next paycheck.  So when someone buys you food it opens up the ability to pay other bills you’d normally skip.


That Christmas day, I made a feast.  While my kids napped after Christmas morning, I cooked.  I roasted the chicken, made the stuffing, the green bean casserole, the potatoes and I even baked the cake.  We opened a bottle of wine someone gave us.  And there, my wife and kids and my wife’s sister had a feast; a well prepared meal with loved ones.  And looking back, that meal was hands down my favorite meal I have ever had.


That time in my life changed me.  It’s the reason I’ve gone to Haiti to help the kids there.   I learned what it was like to need, to want, and to receive help.  A few years later now, our family is recovering.  Even though we don’t have any kids in that pre-school, we’ve made it a tradition to drop off food there.  In fact, I dropped off two grocery bags to them this week in hopes another family can enjoy for Thanksgiving.    I love this day, I love that we can celebrate with a meal, with a prayer and with family; that despite what’s on the table, we can feast.


dc

Back in Haiti

As we approached the descent into the Port Au Prince airport I looked over at the elderly Haitian woman sitting next to me. She was staring at the airplane's small TV screen hanging above our seats. The silent screen flashed clips from various NBC TV shows. I wondered what she thought of Americans.  At the same time I felt embarrassed to be one - at least the TV version of one.  Do we really need another vampire show?   The promo of blood sucking romance ends and Jay Leno comes on the small screen, doing his two-bit, phoned in version of comedy. I mock it all my head to try to mentally distance myself from, who the TV depicts us as.  Maybe it was guilt.  We were about to descend into a land of poverty and destruction while the screen, hanging above us, portrays extravagance and useless faux entertainment as a projected lifestyle.  I thought about our culture and I realized that I too have become what I hate.  As I shoved my empty $4 Starbucks cup, into the seat pocket in front of me and tucked away my copy of Bon Appetite magazine into my bag...the irony was not lost on me. We’re leaving a world of comfort and luxury and depression and entering a world of poverty. But joy is what I see at the tiny orphanage in Coix de Boutique, Haiti I’m heading to.  Despite the awful living conditions (and make no mistake these kids need help), there is joy.
 

  Entering the streets of Haiti from the airport is like a scene in a movie where they take you out of the tranquil setting to an era before, when it was the wild west. As we leave the airport we turn into the chaos that is Port au Prince. It's like a self- governed anarchy of trucks, motorcycles and brightly painted tap taps. Everyone is sharing a two lane road like the finale in musical chairs; by pushing each other out of the way. 


When we get to our project I learn my fate for the next few days. It will be tying rebar on a plywood laden roof. Side by side with Haitian men our team of Americans dives in. Right away I feel resistance. I know these Haitian workers are much more interested in the tools we brought than our actual help. But, we jumped in without hesitation. There is a dichotomy on the roof top. There are workers that are being paid to be there and workers that paid to be there. And, I wondered if they see us as a threat to their jobs. They are paid by the day and our contribution is cutting that pay. But this job is about helping. And the task is to help our friends finish their house not further the employment of strangers.The Haitian boy’s laughter makes me smirk as I pick out quick phrases of their Creole, referring to "blahs" and "blancs". Its an expression or slang derived from French for a white person but beyond that, more explicitly in Creole, it means a foreigner.

 

I wondered about my purpose of being there.  It’s something I struggle with on every trip.  Am I invading?  Am I making a difference?  Its strange, when I'm in Haiti, amongst the chaos, I always feel peace.  But, despite the joy and peace I feel the obvious fact is, there is an overwhelming abundance of poverty and destruction.   And I know a week and a pair of work gloves isn’t going to fix that.  So why did I come?  There must be a reason.  I search back to past trips and one memory is still strong.  It was my first time in Haiti.  I was at the orphanage and our supplies didn’t show up so we were filling in where we could. As I walked across the grounds, a small child walked towards me crying.  I scooped him up instinctively.   I held him close and I tried to soothe him like I would my own son.  As I comforted him I realized one thing….I was not there to rebuild walls or dig, I was there to serve. That child needed  parental love at that minute and I happened to be there; walking his way. That boy’s name is Clarence and my wife and I now sponsor him and his twin sister Clara. 

To serve; I remind myself that’s why I am there. That’s why I am tying rebar on a roof under the hot Haitian sun.  Our Haitian friend Shirley, who has given so much to take care of the orphanage, needs a home for her and her husband.  We are there to help build it.  And we are there not as Americans, but as Christians.  And as Christians; we are taught to serve.  (Its something we struggle with in America.)  On the roof, we work hard, we take in the Haitian workers' instructions and stay on the rooftop side by side.  On day two, when we show back up, the dynamic has changed. We’re greeted with handshakes and fist bumps and most importantly smiles from the workers.  We start out again working and this time we work together like friends with a common goal; to finish this roof. The workers are there as their job and we are there to help our friend.  We work together.

There's more than just a house to be built though. We are there to see the kids. These orphaned children, who have touched our lives. On day three I am at the orphanage.  But our work is cut short. The sweltering heat has been softened by low hanging dark gray clouds. They opened up and poured down rain on us. We ran for shelter into a small building used for storage.  We are crammed in a room with excited kids watching the rain. 

The orphanage has an interesting dynamic.  It’s filled not just with kids who live there but neighborhood kids that walk over and the spend the day there.  As the rain pours down the excitement grows.   First, the kids begin to sing.  It grows louder and louder and then they begin to dance.  Someone opens a plastic storage bin and inside there are tons of art and craft supplies.  Within minutes all the kids are donning colorful hats, headbands and masks made from pipe cleaners.   Its chaos and fun and joy while 40 days worth of rain empties from the Caribbean sky above. 

Finally, the rain subsides.  I have been holding a young, scared child for a while.  He is maybe 2 years old.  Throughout the gathering I have been trying to get him to smile.  But I get nothing.  Now the rain has stopped and I walk out to the grounds, holding him, and find a dry seat under the gazebo.  I looked at him again and realize he is asleep in my arms.  So I sat there, held him, and watched the water drip off the edges of the roof.  Suddenly another kid, maybe 7 or 8 walks up and begins to take the child from my arms. I relent and hand over the sleeping baby to who I am guessing is his brother.  He is one of the neighborhood kids and its time to go home.  Maybe it was the break in the rain or dinner time perhaps, as there are no streetlamps signaling a curfew….just instinct.  The rain had become a drizzle.  I got up and watched them walk away.  The young child was sleeping on his brother’s shoulder as they head home before dark.  That is love I think to myself. Every trip I take, I bring home an image engrained in my mind that summarizes my visit.  That is my picture.  This young child as he carried another child down a lonely muddy road in the light rain.  It’s a picture of obedience, of nurturing and of love.

 On the last day at the orphanage we had a feast.  It’s our tradition.  We get chicken or a goat and salad, rice and vegetables and a cake.  Then we feast.  Well, the kids feast and we serve them.  It’s one of my favorite days each trip.  Though, it’s bittersweet.  It always reminds me of how Christ taught us to serve.  How he got down on his knees and washed his friend’s feet.  He taught us the best way we can learn, by example. 

 
And so we serve, we feed and we play.  The kids have huge smiles on their cake stained faces scraping their plates clean.  Of all the work that gets done, the sweat and the tools I think maybe the feast is the most appreciated.  It’s symbiotic and it is relational.  We show these kids they matter and we love them.  Then, the joy they bring us, in return, teaches us so much about God’s love.  It’s a feeling that can get lost in a world back home of Starbucks and bad vampire TV shows.  But we take some home and we are better for it.

DC

Fast / Coffee

I walked into the lab at my doctor’s office and got in line.  The TV was playing The Price is Right.  I had a twinge on pseudo nausea.  Only because as a kid I only watched the Price is Right when I was sick and home from school.  So things like 7Up and daytime game shows sometimes regurgitate those childhood memories of  lying sick, on the couch, staring at a 13 inch black and white.

Once at the front desk I find out that “fasting” includes coffee and now I can’t do my lab tests.  Despite the fact that I’m starving I haven’t technically fasted.  Frustrated, I head up the elevator to my doctor’s office to see if I can reschedule my appointment for my physical as now the lab results won’t be back in time.  Once there, I’m in line again.  A man behind me, in the waiting room, is staring at the TV and talking.  He’s also watching The Price is Right.  He’s bald, with a ponytail in the back.  He has a long beard and he’s holding a giant soft drink cup from McDonalds.  I guess he’s not fasting either.  He’s talking to the TV.  At first I think he’s talking on a Bluetooth.   It’s funny how a few  years have changed that perception.  I remember seeing my first “guy on a Bluetooth”.  We were in a restaurant and I was sure he was crazy and talking to himself….now I’m assuming this guy is on a Bluetooth, but no, he may be crazy.  He’s turns around and he’s definitely talking to himself.  Maybe he’s talking to the Price is Right contestant.  I watch him, slyly until it’s my turn at the reception desk.   Once there, I learn I should not reschedule my dr. appointment, relearn that drinking coffee isn’t fasting and get instructions to go back to the lab another time.  I really threw a monkey wrench in my doctor’s plan to read me my cholesterol results in person. 

On the way out of the building I stopped at the coffee kiosk.  Now that I wasn’t  fasting I could have food.  I ordered a Danish.   They required a $5 minimum to use a card and since I was without cash I had to upgrade my selection, (more coffee) just so I could feed myself (and caffeinate myself further).  I was really frustrated.  I was frustrated, because I had to buy more than I wanted just so I could have “something”, because I was an hour late to work, because I had spent more time in an elevator with strangers than I ever wanted too and now had to go back and re-fast again.  The morning put me in a bad place.  But then, I remembered something else.

I recently came across the phrase “first world problems”.  I’m not sure if it’s a new catch phrase or hashtag but I understood its meaning instantly.  These were my first world problems; too much coffee, rescheduled blood test, having to buy more food than I wanted...Really?  That’s it?  Too much food and too much health care?  What the hell had I become?  

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and someone coined the term, "First World Problems" because there are far worse, Third World Problems out there to deal with.  To put us in our place so we'd realize the comparison.  I'm not even sure if its still ok to use the term, "third world".  But, a first world problem is a luxury in a land where we label other countries third world.  As I was writing this I was trying to explain to my daughter, the idea behind 1^st world and 3^rd world.  We spoke about "third world problems".  I explained to her as “real problems” like poverty, sickness, bad water, even homelessness….she said, “dad, for those people, that’s just life”.  She was right. 

There are far worse things in life than needing to add a large coffee to my order so I can spend $5 on food.  But still, I’m conditioned to my surroundings and my emotions.  My frustrations and joy are derived from those situations.  I go crazy at Costco, trying to work through a traffic jam of shopping carts driven by people eating chicken wing samples and loading up on an overabundance of food.  I criticize them in my head.  I come down on myself as well.  How can we have so much and be so miserable?

The reality is, for most us, it’s simply the zip code we were born into.   Not that were rich, by American standards, but that curve is thrown off by global standards.  If I was born in Tijuana or Haiti would I have such luxurious first world problems?   Elsewhere, a $5 minimum is a daily wage not a bump up to use electronic currency.  So what’s the answer?  I don’t know.  I can’t live in my bubble life never getting upset by people or situations.  But, perhaps, I can realize my reality.  I can recognize my blessings more and in turn, build patience, add service and praise to my daily routine.

DC

2014 Word of the Year

A few years ago my wife introduced me to the “word of the year” idea.  Instead of resolutions that you don’t keep, you take one word and make that your goal for the upcoming year.  In the past I have done “patience”, “give” and last year was "Time".  So as 2013 began to exit I looked back to see what my word of the year should be going forward.  I decided on “Happy”. 

Despite my past year being filled with blessings, I can’t say that I have been an incredibly happy person the last 12 months.  And to be honest, I can’t tell you why.  My family is healthy, work has been steady,  I had the opportunity to go back to Haiti, and my baby son, despite his rocky start is doing great.  So, why, am I struggling to realize those things and be joyful?  It’s not that I’m in some deep depression or in a pit of despair….but generally, for all God has blessed me with, I’ve been seeing only my own shortcomings instead. 

A few months ago my pastor did a series on the “comparison trap”.  (Have you ever noticed when you buy a new car that suddenly everyone around you is driving the same car?  Do you know how many “champagne colored Odysseys” are out there?  That’s how I felt when I started that series.)  For months prior, I felt like I was distracted by comparing myself to others….and then I started seeing it everywhere.  The main culprits were work and Facebook.  No matter how busy I was at work one of my colleagues was doing more.   Then, when I was doing more, someone was on vacation.  (Perhaps the only thing better than being busy when you’re self-employed, is being able to take a vacation).  But then came Facebook; a daily reminder of how much better someone else’s day is compared to mine.  My friends were in Hawaii when I was at the office, they are eating sushi when I’m reheating leftovers,  they’re on date nights with their spouses while I’m watching “My Little Pony”.  No matter how great my day is – someone out there is having better one, and they have pictures to prove it.

Was I so shallow that I couldn’t appreciate catching up with my friends and instead looked on with envy?  Maybe.  But what I need to do is either disconnect or appreciate what I have.  I need to look at my wife’s beautiful face and kind heart and realize how blessed I am.  I need to watch my kids watch “My Little Pony” and know that their time, content with me sitting next to them, is limited and precious.   I need to go to work, do the best I can and be happy that I can come home, (and despite how bad that day sucked know that I am blessed to have the job I do).  It’s not all going to be, “Sushi date nights in Hawaii with my wife”.  But, each day that I am alive, God is blessing me.

We read in James, to take joy in our troubles.  And when I feel like a failure as a parent, or when everything is crashing down around me, I will look forward to the quiet times that God offers.  Moments when I can go to Him in quite prayer and say, “I need your help”.  And like a parent, comforting a child, I feel His presence and know He is there.  Maybe that is His way of reminding me, “I am here.”  When we forget to rely on God, I think sometimes He allows us to enter situations where we need Him.  So instead of distress, I’m looking to those moments for peace and security this year.  When you get to the point where there is nothing more you can do, all control is out the window and you have to rely 100% on God that’s when peace comes in.  I stop what I’m doing, take a walk and be quiet.  I listen and then I pray.  In those quiet moments (and sometimes pleading moments) I find joy.  That’s my goal for 2014.

I know I won’t achieve some nirvana like utopia this year.  I don't want that.  But instead I want to be happy with what God has given me and not compare it to what I don’t have.  And, when faced with hardships, look to God to find that joy and use that time to grow closer with Him.

When I select a “Word of the Year” I try to make some physical reminder to keep with me.  I had a 3X5 card in my car with the word “patience” on it.  My wife stenciled the word “Give” above my desk in our home office.  So, for “happy” I made this, (below).  I listed out reasons, that despite my day, I should be happy for these blessings.  I listed my past words on the bottom to remind me.   As unlike a resolution, I spend a year working on that word so hopefully by the time January rolls around again that word is engrained as part of my daily life.  When I get in the up in the morning, pour that cup of coffee and begin my quiet time with God ,I hope to remember to thank him and to feel blessed each day.

dc

 

2014 Word of the Year

Happy

• You have a God that loves you AND knows you
• And even though at times He feels absent;  He’s not.  And even though His timing doesn’t feel right; it is.
• You have a wife that loves and cares for you
• And even though sometimes we’re cranky or too busy, at the end of the day when all you can do is sit on the couch next to each other and catch up on email…it’s still good.

• You have three amazing children that want to spend time with you
• And even though, at times, it feels like you’re a riot cop…those three count on YOU and they prefer it that way

• You have a home and warm bed and He takes care of you
• And even though at times it’s messy and chaotic…at night your kids and family are safe asleep in bed.
• You have friends
• And even though you haven’t spoken to some of them in months maybe…if you call them they will answer the phone.

• You have the opportunity to serve others everyday
• And even though you’re over-focused on your own shortcomings or life, each day God gives you the opportunity to make someone else happy too.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.  (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

 

Patience / Give / Time / Happy